After A While...

Hello Beautiful Beings!

I have so many unfinished blog posts and have no had time to write! Lots of things have happened. Some of them amazing and wonderful and I want to share them with all of you-I really do-but the timing is not quite right. I may need to take a couple of days off just to catch up on the writing-but no time right now. Spring has sprung and things are speeding up!Recently my sister sent this to me (see below) and I thought it was beautiful & a good reminder about courage and hope and so thought I would share it here until I get back to blogging on a regular basis. : )

Big Hugs,

Kerri

After A While

After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every good-bye you learn.

~ Author: Veronica A. Shoffstall

Going Within

Everyone has their own way to fill themselves up and to find their centre. For me it has always been going into nature. Sometimes remote nature, by myself, just me and my tent.I have been getting the intuitive message from spirit for months now that it is time for me to go on a vision quest-to go within. I have been ignoring this feeling and the gentle nudges to do so for a while now because I was too busy, I had too much going on.As a result my health began to deteriorate. My adrenals became tired and overworked and my immune system crashed to the point where I was flat on my back wondering how I got there. Well spirit answered me. I had been going full speed for so long that I had managed to successfully burn myself out to a full stop. Luckily with the help of herbal support, and acupuncture, and energy work I am well again.As a holistic practitioner I should really know better. Believe me. I know. The only thing worse that being unwell is judging yourself and your folly in getting there.While I was in Bali recently on a course I asked spirit what I needed to do to get back to my 100% and got the clear message that I needed to take a break, not just from work, but from everything. It was time for me to retreat into the woods to meditate and commune with spirit. For clarity, for direction, for expansion, and for healing.So that Is what I am doing. I realize it is not warm outside anymore but I am bringing my tent and I am going to find a remote patch of forest and sit and meditate for however long it takes.I have taken a brief leave from my work. I will return. I work with an incredibly talented team so I know my regular clients are in very good hands.I have had an incredibly busy and sometimes stressful 16 months. A lot of change. A lot of wonderful change in all parts of my life and some of it has been challenging. I have not had much time to process the changes or recover from them as it has been one thing after another for a very long time. That is another reason I need to unplug from 'civilization' and reconnect to spirit in a deeper way. I have heard spirit calling me to do this for over a year now and I cannot put it off any longer.After witnessing 2 very dear young holistic healers pass into spirit this past year it has reminded me that life is short, sometimes fleeting, it is precious, and we owe it to ourselves and others to be living our best life. I am taking the advice I would give any of my clients if they came to me with the experiences I have been having lately. When seeking clarity~ if the answers are not coming~it is best to Go Within. I will be doing just that.I thank all of you for understanding my process and being patient and understanding that I will not be available in my usual capacity at the centre for a few weeks.I was reading a channeling a friend sent me via email the other day and found it ironic the person channeling the message is taking a sabbatical until the end of the year. Since that time 2 more very intuitive people have told me they are also taking the next 2 months off. Although I do not plan taking the rest of the year off-there must be something with the current time we are in energetically and this very real need to go inwards.Whenever I have done this process in the past I emerge with new clarity, optimism, and beautiful treasures of wisdom from the etheric realm. I am going into this experience with no expectation other than I am making myself available to receive all that I need to receive to move forward. I look forward to sharing my experiences when I return.Until then I will see you in that big beautiful quantum field of possibilities.

With love,

Kerri     

Beautiful Bali

Recently I had the blessing of visiting this very special part of the world. What stood out to me the most about Bali was not the beautiful landscape (and it is very beautiful!), but it was the Balinese people and their huge loving hearts. The Balinese are gentle, humble people with a sweet demeanor and a deep devotion to their spiritual beliefs.Bali is famous for being a “spiritually elevated” place and is often referred to as the land kissed by the Gods or the land of 1000 temples. It is a place of deep spirituality where every family, rich or poor, has their own family temple. You’ll find a shrine around nearly every corner. On several occasions, while visiting the major temples on the island, I watched ceremonies with local people bringing offerings for the gods in baskets, very often balanced on their heads. I also witnessed pretty much everything being transported by motorbike from meals to building materials-very often carefully balanced on the head.I also noticed how Balinese spirituality is integrated into everyone's life. The temples are active-they are used multiple times a day. Their days are filled with ceremony. It is not uncommon to go out for dinner in the evening and to see rice (leftover from a blessing)on your servers brow.Balinese spirituality is a unique blend of Hinduism and Animism. It is a devotion to  Earth and Spirit equally.  Animism encompasses the belief that there is no separation between the spiritual and physical worlds. It is the belief that spirits exist in humans, and also in all other animals, plants and all other parts of nature.The Balinese people very much live off of the land, and as a result, have a deep respect and reverence for All parts of nature. Being an agricultural society (rice being the most important crop) the Balinese take special care to nurture their fields. They understand the importance of respecting the land,  and the importance of being in balance with nature. For that reason they spend pain-staking amounts of time and energy to honor their Deities, the Gods of the sky, the Gods of the rice, etc, by making beautiful little baskets of offerings. Waking about Bali, you will see hundreds of these offerings everywhere. On cars, in front of stores,  houses, restaurants, at Temple gates, and on local and city sidewalks.

Making an offering and the basket that holds it

bali-offering

A common sight in Bali ~ to see statues and altars decorated with fabric and flowers.

Canang sari is the name of these daily offerings. They are made by the Balinese to thank Sang Hyang Widhi Wasa (the supreme god of Indonesian Hinduism). The phrase canang sari is derived from the Balinese words sari (essence) and canang (refers to the small palm-leaf basket as the container/tray)This simple, daily household offering is a way the Balinese people thank their God for the peace that has been given to the world. The offerings take time and effort to prepare, and the act of preparing the offering is just as important as the offering itself.These beautiful offerings in Bali take so many different forms, and I absolutely fell in love with them while wandering the streets of Ubud.  A combination of fragrant flowers and incense, lovingly arranged in a handwoven basket created a beautiful unforgettable aromatic blessing every where we went. Whether it was outside of the hotel we stayed or in the busy streets outside of restaurants and local shops. They were replenished several times a day. The first round were placed just as the sun was rising. There was another set of late afternoon/evening offerings as well. Everyone was involved in making and leaving them out. Everyone. In homes, and businesses alike.I also noticed the cleanliness in Bali. Before most tourists are wandering the streets the Balinese are out sweeping up all of the previous day’s offerings from around their businesses and homes. Buckets of water are used to wet down the sidewalk and the perimeter around their doorways. I actually witnessed a Balinese man dusting his car with a feather duster. The cars in Bali are kept immaculate, despite the dusty streets. Once the streets of Bali are spotless, they are now ready for the daily gift of offerings.They are much more than beautiful street decorations, they form a cornerstone of the daily practice of nearly every Balinese person that I met. We were very blessed to have a Balinese elder teach us how to create the offerings. It looks much easier than it is! Young palm leaves are used and part of the stalks are trimmed to create tiny pins to hold the leaves in place. After the basket is made then it is filled with flowers and greenery and incense, and is placed either on the ground(to feed the demons), or on altars higher up (as an offering to the gods), or brought to temple for ceremony. The ground offerings were to feed/apease the demons(bad spirits) as the belief was if the demons were fed they would not enter a building or cause any trouble.

Ceremony

Bali temple wear. Sarong and a sash

At a Puja Fire Ceremony

The local kids having fun

One of the many waterfalls

One of the many beautiful beaches

Bali is an island that exudes healing and promotes peace and relaxation. There is a spa around every corner. And  you get an amazing hour long massage for under $10! It may be paradise, but Bali has crazy amounts of traffic. It can take several hours to travel 100km. Roads are full of cars and a huge number of motorbikes that weave precariously in and around the cars. Driving in Bali is not for the faint of heart. Thankfully taxis can get you anywhere you want to go and are fairly priced. You can rent a motorbike inexpensively to get around the island, but to me it was simply not worth the risk especially after seeing how everyone drives and learning about the many accidents involving visitors. We arrived in Denpassar and took a taxi to our hotel where we experienced the hustle and bustle of Ubud with the many colourful shops lining the streets. After 2 days of acclimitizing to the time change (12 hours difference!), we travelled up North into the region of Sudaji where we stayed as part of a secluded local community and lived among roosters, wild dogs, cats, lizards, geckos, and other nightlife. I am not longer a light sleeper! Early morning meditations before class, purification in the natural spring water pool, Puja fire ceremonies with local priests, and an outdoor shower under the stars and moon, were highlights of the trip. The place we stayed at was named OMunity. A blend of OM and community. They offer many cross cultural and spiritual programs for those who wish to connect to local Balinese culture. The organic vegetarian food was incredible, and the energy of the place perfect for our class.On our days off we visited temples and one day we hiked to a stunning hidden waterfall in the jungle. I even pushed past my fear of heights and climbed up beside the waterfall with local boys to jump off the cliff into the cool refreshing pool of water. A picnic lunch on banana leaves by the river was simply glorious.At the end of our class we spent a few days on Sanur beach. It was a beautiful way to end the trip and get ready for the long journey home.Balinese society is very similar to other shamanic societies I have experienced around the world. They all have a deep devotion to the earth and have similar rituals and ways of living that honor the Spirits around them. They all share the beauty and wisdom of understanding the importance of respecting, honoring and integrating their lives with the land around them. The people simply Are the land and are not separate from it.When I was in Peru years ago and asked the Q’ero shaman what I could do for Peru. She replied for me to bless, love, honour and create ceremony in my own homeland. The land is thirsty, she said. It needs to be loved and cared for and honoured and respected. She explained that by blessing and honouring my land I am helping the rest of the world.After my time in Bali, witnessing yet another culture that is beautifully and deeply connected to the land, and loves and honours the earth ~ it has brought that lesson home to me yet again, to do more here. To create sacred space here. To honour our blessed land here. So if you see me leaving offerings and burning incense outside then you know what I am up to.

Big Blessings,

Kerri    

Insights on Love ~ From The Movie 'Eat, Pray, Love'

As I'm planning my trip to Bali in the Fall it made me think of the book 'Eat Pray Love'. So many people wanted to go to Bali after reading that book, or more recently, seeing the movie.Bali has always been a place I was curious to go, but to be honest, it was not on my list of next adventures.I sort of fell into this trip, intuitively and suddenly, much the same way I tend to fall in love.And that got me thinking about the True Nature of Love, our Soul's Journey through life, and the book 'Eat, Pray, Love'For those who have not seen the movie, it's now available on Netflix.For those who have;Do you remember in the movie near the end when Liz doesn't go with Fillipe on the boat because she feels she is losing her life balance by being in the relationship? It's that moment where she has a choice of 'Going for it', or Going back to the comfort of the life she knows. When she later visits Ketut (her spiritual advisor and friend) he explains to her that:"Sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life. "After she listens and contemplates what he says, she has the realization that love takes courage and a huge leap of faith and she then does something we all have the ability to do (although many of us forget we can actually do this)

She changes her mind.

I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I guess that's why it's called 'Falling' in Love. Falling is Not balance. Falling is falling. Falling can hurt.  But I do believe balance can come within love. I also believe love is a force that disrupts everything. It has to because it IS change, it IS evolution, it can destroy worlds, but is also the glue that holds everything together. It heals, it connects and it does create balance. But it also shakes things up, makes people uncomfortable, and teaches. Love is like the wind. It can't be defined, controlled or balanced. It's also  like a plant where it needs certain things, or it dies. And I'm starting to understand that a person can be absolutely surrounded by love, but unless they are able to let it in, they just won't feel it, or even know that it's there.The plan and simple truth is that We Are Constantly Surrounded by Love, Abundance, Peace, etc. Support it is Always there. The only thing that changes is our capacity and our willingness to receive it.Falling in Love can be easy. It can be scary. It can come on fast and furious, and may not seem like there is even choice or free will involved. It can definitely be a force to be reckoned with.Staying in love is different. Staying in Love requires contemplation, and careful thought. It is the steadiness that comes after a storm. It is about building something. It is about wanting to build something. It is about wanting to be willing to 'do the work', because relationships can be 'work' especially relationships that stretch you to grow beyond the boundaries of 'who you think you are'. They are a continual co-creation with the 'other'. Whether it's building the trust and respect that is the necessary foundation for any long-term relationship, or simply building the desire to do so. Staying in Love requires patience compassion, selflessness, and courage as well. Lots of courage.For me, my absolute favourite part of the whole movie was Liz's realization at the end:'In the end, I’ve come to believe in something I call the ‘physics of the quest’, a force in nature governed by the laws of gravity. The rules of quest physics goes something like this: If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting and set out on a truth seeking journey either internally or externally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some of the most difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be witheld from you.'Well said and I couldn't agree more!I'm really enjoying my quest!If Bali resonates with you and you wish to learn all 3 levels of Akashic Record Training, email me for details.Until next time, enjoy your quest!

xo Kerri

Goodbye Dear Earth Angel

I had sad sad news this morning and it has stayed with me all day. I learned that a dear, sweet student of mine went 'home'. She suddenly and swiftly crossed over. She left this life to continue her work unlimited from the body.I have mixed feelings. I am in total grief for the dear loved ones she has left behind- her young daughter and husband and mother. So unfair. So heartbreaking. And yet after sending Reiki on and off all day to her family, and to the situation, and to her where ever she now is,  I feel o.k. It's as though she is saying. "It's o.k. I'm free. I'm limitless. I'm peace. I'm joy. I'm home" I know she wouldn't want me to sit and cry about her not being here. I know she is o.k. and trust this was her soul's purpose and it was her 'time' to go. She was always light years ahead of everyone else when she was on the planet, so why would that be any different now?But honestly it seems as though people are leaving the earth left right and centre lately. I don't think it's because I am getting older. The people leaving have been younger than me, or my age.And this baffles me because it was not that many years ago my own doctors were telling me really bad news. I stubbornly (me? stubborn? never!) flat out refused what they said and got on with the business of getting well. I never once thought I was going anywhere. Ever. Now, after witnessing other women come and go, who have gone through something very similar to what I went through, I am humbled by the miracle my life is. Part of me feels in a way that I am unworthy, that I slipped through the cracks, or tricked fate somehow. Each time another earth angel crosses over, it has me contemplating my mortality. Why am I still here? Really? Honestly sometimes I'm not entirely sure.But one thing I can tell you is that this has made me very present and more grateful. I am going to to my best to make the Most of my life and LIVE it! I generally try and do that anyways, but I'm ramping it up. No more excuses! For anything!I hope all of you do as well. Please if you get anything from my middle of the nightrambling~ Hold your loved ones closer, actually Tell them how you feel. Be honest. Be loving. Be kind.Love yourself enough to let go of those relationships that are done, so you and the other person can be free to find authentic love. Stop wasting your time and life in misery.Let go of All your Fears.Get out of that job you hate-but love to complain about-and actually make change in your life.Stop waiting. Stop delaying. Stop making excuses and Just Do it!Go on that trip.Plan for your future. But never to the expense of not living your Now.Our time here is limited. That is certain. And we are not always in control of how things shake out, but How You Choose to Live Your Life is Always 100% Entirely Up to You!I hope you make the most of it.I am going to. That is how I am going to get over this loss. I am going to live my life Fully. I know that is what she would want me to do. What she would want all of us to do. The girl was Pure Joy when she was here. She lit up a room. She is going to be one Amazing Angel.And I will see her again someday. And when I do I am going to have some incredible stories to tell her.But not yetNo, not yet.xo Kerri 

SunlightClouds-Gorgeous

Do not look for me and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not think of me and cry,

I am not gone; I did not die.

Is Inauthenticity The Hole In Your Bucket?

Have you ever felt drained at the end of the day even though you did not really do anything to warrant such exhaustion?Do you ever feel totally drained after  hanging around certain people?You were going along, having a perfectly wonderful day, and then you spend a few hours with someone or in a group and afterwards you feel like you want to slip into a zombie coma?What the heck just happened?!Some websites and books out there will tell you that you were attacked by an 'energy vampire.' That this 'bad' person stole your energy.  Energy vampire was a term that was very big in the 80's & 90's..it came along with bad hair, huge amounts of hairspray and the need for protection, amulets, salt circles, crystals up the nose, fancy outfits, and whatever your favourite tool is to ward off  so called 'evil.' Energy vampire was the perfect term to describe those  people with 'negative energy' who made it feel like they were sucking the life right out of you. It was a catchy phrase. Catchy but dangerous.Why dangerous?It's dangerous because it shifts the focus away from where it needs to be.  As soon as you start labelling and blaming others for a problem that you 'think' they caused, you take the focus off the feeling that You are having (that feeling that is all about you) and you put the blame on them. In doing so, you take away any self responsibility about how you were (all of a sudden) feeling.Not to mention doing that can be a bit scary too because-Wow! they must be pretty powerful to get through your supersonic energetic bubble and enchantments and powerful anti negativity jewellery to drain your energy dry like that. What are you going to do next time to prevent it? This is where people can spend a fortune from their fear as there are always those who will  gladly take your money for more amulets, more potions, more spells, all the while feeding your fear for why you need those things (and need them) to save you from that other person. What you really need is to be saved- from yourself.I know I'm poking fun, and I am likely going to take some heat from this post from the die-hard energy vampire haters, but I have totally been there. I have felt this drain before too. Many, many times. I'm empathic. For those who do not know what that means, it means that I Feel EVERYTHING all the time (emotions, physical ailments, moods) As cool as that may seem, it's not a fun trip. Believe me! I can also tell you there is no magic product out there that is going to stop that drain. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. You may find things that help a little bit or things that trick your mind enough into believing they work-and the mind is very powerful and can help you there, but ultimately you are the only one who can stop it permanently. That's because that energy drain you just had, in all honesty, its kind of your fault.What???!I know!!! That's a horrible thing to say to someone! Especially when they are feeling so low and after they have had their life force energy drained and feel so energetically victimized.My intention is not to be  'mean' by saying that it is your fault. I wish it wasn't so. Believe me I do. Life would be so much easier if we could just blame other people for everything. But it's just not the case. In this case, you are at fault and it is simply because You allowed it.No one pinned you down, or held you against your will to drain you of your energy. No one forced you to hang around that person, or give them your energy, or listen to their draining life story. Instead you were following a different law, a different set of rules-that unwritten agreement many of us have (and still follow) to pretend with that other person that everything is o.k. even when it is really not o.k. at all.Why do we do this? Well it is easier, or seems to be easier to do this. No one enjoys conflict. No one wants to alienate people.But unfortunately over time, this inauthenticity and self dishonesty drains you energetically. It becomes the hole in your bucket and it's simply not worth it.It is one of the absolute laws of the universe that nothing can interfere with your energy without your permission or free will. Nothing. Not a thing, no human, animal spirit, being, space alien, tweedle bugs, anything.So what just happened to your energy then? How did it get drained?! How was it that allowed that you didn't want it?!If you go back through that situation in your mind-and do so with honesty-you will be able to pick out the exact moment where you began to feel the drain. The exact moment where you began to be inauthentic or dishonest with yourself or someone else.This is actually how muscle testing works-the basic premise that when something is true or right for you the body's (muscles ) show strength, and when something is wrong or untrue for you the body's (muscles) show a weakness. The body is not the only thing affected in a situation where something is untrue or not right. In that case, the entire energy field is depleted. When people tell a lie their energy field totally collapses for a brief moment in time. My kids absolutely hate that I can always catch them in a lie this way.So you were inauthentic. Big deal. We do it all the time. You are in a situation and don't want to have 'that conversation' or rock the boat, or stand out, or worse yet -hurt someone's feelings, so you just adjust yourself to fit into the environment-while your 'energy vampire' friend, loved one, co worker, family member, stranger, begins to feed on you and drain you of all life force energy. You just sit and smile and nod and listen and fade away. You never once say what you want or truly feel. If you did then you would not feel drained afterwards.Someone energetically 'present' and 'aware' in that situation, and someone refusing to compromise their authenticity, would leave that situation feeling just fine.When we are dishonest with ourselves and others about who we are and how we feel we begin to drain energy. When this happens a lot, we become so depleted we begin to create illness and disease in the body.When you are able to maintain who you are and your authenticity in every situation, you are not only doing yourself a service but you are helping others by mirroring back to them their ability to do so and  you are essentially giving them permission to do the same for themselves. That is empowering.Some of my favorite people on this earth are down right shocking, but they are Real. I Love children. I love their raw honesty. Children are born honest. They are real. They do not know any otherr way to be. They learn dishonesty from adults. Pets are honest too, and simple. Pets don't lie. Our bodies are honest too. I love working with the body because the body tells it like it is- the body never lies. The human mind on the other hand....well you could be lost in a mind for days, weeks, heck even years! The mind is a wild maze! It is the mind that decides if we are going to be authentic or not..and it will have many scenarios at the ready-scenarios it likes to play out of things that have never even happened! Things that may never happen! The mind will convince you of why its better to stay quiet, to stay safe, to stay small and to just allow that person or situation to rip right into your etheric jugular and bleed you dry.Why do we do this? Why do we change from the beautiful honesty of a small child ,to an insecure, inauthentic, and non self-aware adult?Plain old survival.As children many of us learn to people please to get rewarded. We learn when we are 'good' we receive love and affection or we do it to avoid getting yelled at or in trouble. We learn to be 'good girls' and 'good boys'. We then grow up carrying those same patterns with us of selfless service, and silence for love, for acknowledgement, and for attention. Attention is actually how we give and receive Love. We learn that early on. The worst thing you can ever do to someone is withhold your love or attention. The opposite of Love is not Hate. It is indifference.We learn to be chameleons to be what the other person wants us to be rather than learning to be comfortable in who we really are. We learn to Bend.We look at magazines and tare aware of the media and what it tells us to be. We tell our children and young adults how to be and who to be to fit in. No one wants to be different. Not that different, to run the risk of  not having friends. Most friendship s, and relationships require compromise. We learn to alter, we learn to Blend.We learn to look outside of ourselves for our answers and to find reasons for our problems. We learn to Blame.Often we do it in families where we may feel so incredibly different from our relatives we try and fit in by changing to fit the role of who they think we are rather than who we are truly are. We do it in relationships by becoming the person we think the other person wants us to be instead of being who we actually are.Do you know that around the holidays is my busiest time as a holistic practitioner? When I began my practice years ago I found that incredibly odd because most of the services I offer are not covered by extended health care, and is an extra expense during the holidays, and can cut into the Christmas budget. Why do so many people see me then?I believe it is because everyone is drained. They are spending time with their family -even those who would normally avoid doing so- and then while in those scenarios (to keep the peace) they pretend to be someone else. All of that pretending and not speaking your mind or honouring who you really are is totally exhausting! Most of us can barely walk thru the door to fall into bed after such a day.So what can we do to protect our energy and keep it full and vibrant? Other than hermiting away and avoiding people forever or going the other extreme and  alienating everyone, how can we avoid becoming drained?I'm not suggesting you go out there all guns a blazing and blast everyone with your truth on some power trip just to be you. Relationships will be damaged and there will be fallout. These kinds of changes can take time. I'm simply asking for you to notice in your life when and where you feel drained. Just observe when and where it takes place and the context around it. Instead of blaming the other person for how you feel, honestly take responsibility for how you are feeling and look at where You were being inauthentic in that situation. By taking responsibility for allowing your energy to be drained, that new found awareness will allow you to make the necessary corrections so that it Never happens again.Please know that despite what you may have heard, YOU are Always in control of your energy and your body. When you fully realize that, and embrace that 100%, and own it, then you will be able to end the cycle of being a victim in your own life, and you will truly see some incredible changes in your life.By taking responsibility, you take ownership, you take your power back, and you take your energy back to you where it belongs.Be yourself, not a crappy copy of someones else. If you have changed, let your family and friends know that. Allow them the chance to get to know the new you. You may be surprised..they may like your new self a heck of a lot better than the old one. Or maybe they are pretending to be someone else too. Once you take off your mask and let it all out, you are giving them permission to do the same and you can meet as two hearts, two minds, in honesty, in trust, in true authenticity.

Wow what a Great World that would be!Shine on Bright Beings! Shine On!

xo Kerri         

Sometimes You Just Have To 'Be The Tree'

'Be the tree' was the message I received a few weeks ago from spirit while receiving Reiki. I had been asking for guidance for some time, only until that moment I had not been in a clear space to receive it.You see I was in pretty rough shape. For a healer, we do actually learn early the importance of self healing in order to stay balanced and well so that we can better help others. But also, as a healer, many of us tend to want to take care of others first. Somehow over the holidays (from doing too much) I came down with a virus. By new years I was getting back on track only to end up with a raging kidney infection. After a foray to emergency and drugs I was back home and really not happy about any of  it. I had things to do and places to be and no one else could do those things for me. It was stressful to not be able to stay on top of my insane to-do list.So there I was on the table, receiving a healing, not for fun, or as a tune up, but because I really needed it badly. I had fallen completely off my groove, out of my flow, off my centre, out of alignment, was ungrounded, my cheese had partially slid right off the cracker.... You get my drift. I also have friends who insisted on coming over, despite my crankiness, and comments of 'I'm o.k. I just really want to be alone right now.' But they decided on a reiki intervention instead. Thank god for them.Humbled and Grateful is the way I felt after these dear friends and amazing healers gathered to help me out. I was at the end of my rope, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I was coming off a rather challenging 7 months and felt like I kept getting knocked down right after I would pick myself up.  I was not in alignment. I knew that the law of attraction was at work in my life 100% and until I sorted myself out I would just keep re-creating the same disasters. You would think that by knowing this that would be enough to bring myself into some semblance of balance but because I was pretty emotionally attached to all of it, I was not receiving any clarity.So as I was  on the reiki table, I was intuitively asking my guides and angels and any spiritual being with compassion out there in the universe to come and help me out with some answers. I wasn't even asking for them to take the drama away. I was just asking. 'What should I do?!'  I was beginning to think all of the red tape and delays and downright ridiculous obstacles were the universe's way of subtly telling me to give up on everything. So as I lay there waiting for the lightning of divine insight to strike,  I heard very loudly and very clearly a female voice say "Be the Tree."It was clear. It was simple and that was it. At first to be honest I thought 'Is that it?!' After months of total chaos I wanted to shout to the universe 'That's all you've got?!' (but after the time I had experienced recently I did not think it was wise to provoke or 'throw down' with the universe) so I thought better of it and instead I opened myself up to truth of those words and contemplated.Once I (finally) relaxed and opened myself up, the advice of 'Be The Tree' it made complete sense.My life had been chaotic and scattered because I had been chaotic and scattered. 'Be the Tree' meant I had to be like a tree. Literally! I needed to find my still centre, find the ground, and sink my roots deep into the earth. I needed to claim that space, to own it, to become strong centred and grounded again so that life's storms would not knock me over. The crazy thing was I had not even realized how un-rooted I had become. Once I had that aha moment, the voice went on to talk about the ice storm we had a few weeks ago that affected so many people. In my neighbourhood especially, it had been heartbreaking to drive up and down the street and see tree branches laid out ready for pickup, to see the devastation and all of the trees lost from that storm. The standing people, the silent watchers, the beautiful space holders, cut down so dramatically.The voice explained that to 'Be the Tree' does not mean there will not be storms, that there will never be loss or devastation. In fact it told me that life is loss and devastation and to think that we can get through it without experiencing that is ignorant.

'Be the Tree' means to Believe in yourself enough to anchor yourself deeply into the earth, to be so connected that if you lost a branch or two in a storm you are still the tree, life goes on. To not give up. To recover, to rebuild, to begin again.

These are all acts of courage. It takes courage to hold your ground, to stand up for what you believe in, that it is just and true. It takes courage to rise up after falling, and more still to stand up again after being knocked down.Now was the time (in my darkest hour) where I needed to stand up and begin using All that I had learned the last few years. That information was not just for me to share with others, but for me to actually use, and this time I Needed to use it. I needed to, or I wouldn't survive the storm.That all sounds very dark. But it was dark, and I had been in a dark place. I had been questioning my intuition, my faith, my relationships, and my life path. Many years ago, when I chose a life of service, I made that choice and promise and take it very seriously. As a result, I sometimes feel the responsibility that comes with that choice means my life is not always entirely my own. It is that way once you mother children as well. It is a joy but also can be a huge sense of responsibility that can weigh on a person. I have a vision and a promise to keep to myself and to others but it would be nice if it does not destroy me in the process. I have realized lately,(that how things are arranged and re-arranged out there in the universe, a.k.a. quantum field) are not for me to decide. I am not in control of the process. Sometimes only after everything has been destroyed, can we see what truly needs to remain, and what truly needs to be rebuilt. So I decided to re-surrender and allow the universe to reshape my world. I was holding fast to the one thing I could, the one thing I still had faith in, and was is the dream I had many years ago, a dream of creation, and I decided to hold fast to that and trust that this dream would one day become reality. It was almost here, and I knew that to give up in the final hour would not only be counterproductive but it would be tragedy.Today in the midst of more chaos(I could write a book on my last week alone!) I asked for a sign from the universe if I was to keep it going or let it all go. I got my sign, and 5 more immediately afterwards. So I took that as a YES! So I decided to pick myself back up and 'Be the Tree'. I am going to re-root and hang on and hope we won't have any more storms. Or at least not until I heal from the last one.I'm a healer, a teacher, an intuitive, a mother, and a friend, and you know what? I'm still learning. As we all are. I always preach to have compassion for others, but this most recent experience has shown me that I need to still work on cultivating some compassion towards myself. I hold myself to some pretty high standards, and when I fall short of them I am pretty hard on myself.I had a student recently ask me if intuitive types have more challenging lives  than the average person who is just out there living life. I don't think so, but it seems to me that the people who question things, who really wants to understand things or push the envelope to excel at something, do tend to experience more adversity. Why is that?Well I believe that when you want to understand things, when you ask for the truth, when you are going for it, and want to know, the universe will show you all that is is you wish to understand. But in order to understand something, to truly make it your own, we need to Experience it. And the only way to do that is to have that idea manifest in your outer universe, so that you can interact with the scene in your daily life to further understand the idea or concept or situation. Once we have experienced something, we can combine that with our intellectual understanding of it, and turn that into true wisdom. And wisdom does not always come easily. Wisdom sometimes comes faster along the path of adversity. Do I wish I could just live my life and not ever ask 'why?', and be content to live my days out being content and not wanting to understand the true nature of reality and my place in it? Absolutely. But I'm not wired that way. I am unfortunately (fortunately?) an explorer, and inventor, a pioneer. And pioneers never have it easy! The people who come after (once the trail has been blazed) do.In the bible (yes I have read it!) it is suggested that we rejoice in our sufferings, because it produces perseverance and perseverance produces character. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete in character, not lacking anything.”So there you have it. I have been suffering all along, so that I can build a better character. I may not have been 'joyful'  as it happened but I'm o.k. with that. There are many things I do well, but I also have many shortcomings. I'm stubborn. I don't ask for help easily. I don't receive love as well as I give it. And I get mad at myself when I become sick or unwell because 'ain't nobody got time for that!'  and I think I should know better! But I am learning to love myself despite my shortcomings, and to forgive myself for my mistakes I'm allowing myself to take the time I need to heal myself. I'm doing this so that I can be a better person, and a stronger Tree so that I am able to better love and support someone else when they need it, just as my dear friends did for me.If you feel you are being tossed around by the universe, first of all know that you are not alone in your suffering. We all experience this from time to time unfortunately. It is just part of being human. Secondly please do not hermit away and don't do what I did. Instead put your roots down deep into the earth, breathe, let your friends and family help you, be easy on yourself and Be That Great Tree and have faith as you wait for the storm to pass.It always does.

Until next time,

Kerri

Saying Goodbye to 2013 And Hello To 2014

2013 was a big year for a lot of people. I know it certainly was for me. I can honestly say it was one of the most challenging, and most transformational years I have had in a very long time. I learned so much about myself and others. I feel as thought I connected with a great mystery that brought deep understanding and yet at the same time it remained elusive. There were times I thought 2013 would break me, only to realize that by going into the fire I was burning away the dross. I was becoming purified. Just like the clay pot that goes into the fire to become a vessel to hold things, the challenges I faced (while seemingly insurmountable) made me stronger, more compassionate, more whole.Every year I like to find some kind of way to connect with the energy of the past year, a ceremony of sorts, whether it is through journalling,  meditating, or dancing, or some other way that feels right. Every year it is different, but every year I do something before the New Year to honour the one that is passing, to acknowledge it, and to let go of what I need to leave behind. That way I can face the New Year, Fresh and Clear and Hopeful.This is an exercise I have done in the past to help reflect upon the past year, and to help prepare for the energy and opportunities the new one  brings.I hope you find it a fun and enlightening experience.

Step 1: Review the past year and write down every major happening or event that stood out for you

Step 2: Once you have your list, ask yourself a few questions:

What made this year remarkable?

Who are the people who entered my life this year?

Who were the people who left it?

What were my greatest accomplishments/achievements?

What were my favorite times/moments?

What was the biggest disappointment?

What was the best surprise?

When I look back on the year, I could never have imagined_______(fill in the blank).

What was the most important thing you learned this year?

What was the single most important/significant event of the year?

How would I like next year to be different?

You can have fun doing this exercise alone, with a spouse or partner, with a good friend, or as a whole family. It’s remarkable to see all that you’ve accomplished, celebrated, and lived through during one year.

Reflecting upon 2013 allows you to carry forward the wisdom from the experiences you have had this past year, to help you decide what you would like to carry forward, and what you would like to leave behind. It helps you prepare for the Brand New Year and the opportunity 2014 brings, to consciously create your new reality and begin anew.

Biggest Blessings!

Kerri