I realized today that I must be a runner. I have come and gone with running over the years..stopped and started here and there. But at this point in my life, I cannot imagine my life without it. It is so much a part of me..it IS me.In the past I usually ran with a goal..to go farther..to go faster...I even trained to run a marathon. I would end up pushing myself often to the point of injury..which would then result in my not being able to run at all (which was the very thing that I loved to do). It was completely ludicrous. Fast forward many years and add to that a lot of growing up,learning and healing. Today my relationship with running is one of freedom, transformation, balance, meditation, contemplation, journeying and bliss.As soon as my breath enters a rhythm, my feet begin to pound out the perfect heartbeat of the earth. I fall into a trance, deeper into this music and find myself travelling, journeying, through time and space as I run. I go to the past, present, future. I become unlimited. I travel to alternate worlds, different dimensions, alternate realities. I download information from these places and receive insights. I become one with everything. Problems are solved, illnesses are healed, creativity is boundless. What is unfortunate about this is when the run completes itself and I come back into my body I am left with impressions of where I went and what I saw and experienced and yet the information is not complete. It is as though it is so large that once I compress myself back into my body (this tiny container) there is not room for the expanse of what was experienced. Words fail to describe it. I thought of digitally recording my adventures as I run, but they happen so fast,I could not speak fast enough. And I think it would alter the rhythm and the organic nature of the run.And words really do fall short to describe it all. Perhaps I will have to get my paints out of the cupboard and dust them off and record the experience with colour and texture...Until we all have a device to record thoughts, sensations etc. directly from the brain, I struggle to fully convey the experience.But maybe I am not supposed to.At any rate, is it any wonder I love my time to run?..It is a magical journey into elsewhere and never fails to fill me up with joy and wonder.The body becomes merely the vehicle to help me get off the ground. So in a way I am flying. It is a beautiful experience...and I am grateful for my body to enable me to have it.
Hiking The Bruce Trail
I have decided I like to hike. Which is ridiculous because I knew I liked to hike, but after this most recent hike, I realized I really really enjoy it. I love the 'space' that hiking induces. It is a whole day of rhythm, of movement, of mediative space. My body moving and adapting to the contours of the hill, rock and countryside, the rhythm of my breathing and the way my mind unwinds the busy-ness of the thoughts to get to that point of space, the void, the blissful nothingness. I just love it. There is no other way to describe it. And I hadn't realized how much I enjoyed it until I was away from it for a while and then back into it.We just returned from a family trip in which we hiked from below Cypress up to Cypress on day 1-around 10km with 3 kids(2 -10 year olds, a 12 year old)-all carrying their own gear on their backs, and a 6 mo. old puppy and it went really well.Day 2 was a 24km day to Tobermory and I was unsure we would all make it. But it ended up being great. No complaints, not even in the rain, no meltdowns, everyone had a great time!At the end, in Tobermory, I found myself silently deciding to hike the Bruce trail end to end. Not in parts, not over years, or months but rather as a continuous hike. 894km in 45days.I thought I need to do this, I need this long continuous space, I need the challenge, I need to be in nature so thoroughly that I become it. I just need to do this. I am thinking next Spring, or Summer.I voiced my dream aloud and Logan(one of my 10 year olds) wants to come with me. Sounds great. I cannot imagine being 10 years old and be willing to undertake such a huge challenge and commitment. Wow. That would be great. It would be a wonderful experience to have as a family. I'm sure there would be really challenging days but overall imagine the benefits from such a wonderful experience. We are so lucky to live close to a trail like this, and to really understand the beauty of the place in which we live, there is no better way to commune with nature than to get right into it.So we'll see how it all comes together...but I feel confident it is going to happen in the next year or two.
Running in The Rain
I just came back in from a run. I have been meaning to go for one all weekend but it just never happened. One of the reasons was we were up at a cottage and it just did not stop raining..not light rain..downpour..and it was cold(fall temperature cold-and I had optimistically packed hot summer day clothes). So I came up with excuses not to go. I was cold, it was wet, I was tired, etc.So today I planned to run first thing after work. No more excuses! The kids were playing with friends..the dog was napping..I was laced up and ready to go. I stepped outside to a huge crack of thunder..and then it came...not a light rain..a downpour. I stood there for a moment in complete disbelief. What was going on here with this rain following me and interrupting my running schedule?I found myself at that crossroads of choice. It would have been really easy to go inside, do some of the backlogged errands from the list(a mile long) and wait out the rain. It was coming down so hard, surely it would only last 15 minutes or so.BUT. This had been going on for 4 days with me. Girl interrupted, by rain. If I did not go, I knew the rain would follow me all week.So I decided to jump in and go..there had to be a lesson in this for me somewhere..other than not being a big baby..there had to be something..this rain keeping me from running had been persisting too long. I had run in rain before, I know I do not melt.... but I had been off my running schedule for a while and have not had a normal sleeping pattern lately so have been more tired than usual. All of these things made it so easy for me to delay to the following day what I knew needed to be done that day.So there I went, took off running. Not in a sprinkle, mind you..this was a power shower. Two minutes into the run and the water was pouring down the brim of my hat and landing on my face.But you know what?I LOVED every minute of it.I loved splashing through the huge puddles. I loved that the rain seemed to increase in volume and pressure as I ran. I loved how people slowed down to look at the crazy lady who was running in a rainstorm with a huge grin on her face. I was in Total Joy. I completely lost myself in the run and in the rain. I cannot even begin to tell you the journey I went on...but in it, I became Everything.I was the rain. I became it.I knew what it was like to have the journey as an individual raindrop only to inevitably link up with others as I hit the ground and reconnected with the source to run freely along the gutter. I knew what it felt like to hit a leaf and slide off only to drip off and land on the ground. I could feel what it felt like to land on soft grass and soil and to be absorbed into the ground.It was fantastic!I contemplated if a raindrop had consciousness....I felt it had feeling of experience because that is what I was experiencing..but did it have consciousness..maybe a consciousness specific to it..one that we could not even begin to contemplate in our limited experience of being human. My mind went wild but in a calm and peaceful way and I have to tell you from this moment forward I going to jump at the chance to run in the rain.I could feel it washing away all of the debris I had collected since returning home from my trip..all of the deadlines..all of the other people's stuff that had somehow become my stuff....I thanked God for the rain. And realized that it was indeed a miracle. I felt like a brand new person on the earth experiencing rain for the very first time..what it must be like for a baby, or young child or puppy...to realize that water was falling from the sky. How beautiful was that?! What an incredible thing!! That this 'life giving' water was coming from the sky, to water the plants and to wash away the old..to clean the earth..to clean ourselves...to make room for the new.I was grateful for, and in awe of this rain. And I wanted to share this before it became lost within my mind with all of the other wonderful epiphanies I seem to experience while running and then they fade as the day rolls out..like a fuzzy dream. I did not want to forget this rain, or my experience in it, because it reminded me of who I am. That I am part of everything and everything is part of me and to think of myself any differently is only to place myself in a very small container with limited room to breathe. We are so much greater than our 'individual' packages we are contained in and we need to be reminded of this all the time and I am grateful for my experience of running in the rain and how it brought me back to myself.
Back to Earth
I'm not 100% back yet and not sure if I want to be. : ) Our trip was such a beautiful and magical experience. We visited so many high frequency sacred sites in such a short time I'm sure all of the other 'pilgrims' are still processing, as I am. I just wanted to share a few pictures of our journey. I will write more about our trip in the next week or so. Many people have expressed interest in going next summer, so I will be putting something together for that as well as a Fall trip to Egypt or India. Stay tuned!
Don Miguel Ruiz about Human Mind
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKCWH4KT1Xc&hl=en_US&fs=1]
Wakeboarding Wipeout
In my mind I would like to imagine that this was the stellar move I made before falling last weekend while wakeboarding, however in reality the air I got, and the style I expressed, was much smaller than this. What I did experience however was the slamming of my body upon impact and the subsequent lake water sinus flush. Upon reaching dry land I began to reflect upon my decision to wakeboard after a 2 year hiatus. Was it wise? Was I getting too old for this? Because let's face it...I do not bounce like I used to. After this last wipe-out where my body went one way and my board 20 feet in the opposite direction and the feeling like I had just snapped in two, I remember thinking as time slowed down(as it always does during such folly) 'What am I doing?' I inevitably let this question go because once I shook it off (much like a cat does when someone witnesses it falling in a 'not so elegant' manner) I forgot about the pain... I was distracted by my oldest showing me the damage that he had recorded on video(lucky me) and the excitement in his voice that his Mom rocked it on out. I laughed at this..it will only be a couple more years and then he will not think I am so 'cool' anymore....I'll become the crazy old lady trying to do a 360.Upon reflection I decided I'm going to keep it up. Why not? I have not ever acted my age anyways..why start now. Wakeboarding is like flying. It is freeing. And I love flying, so this weekend coming I plan to give it another go. If it does not go well, I can always have a massage (I'm lucky to work with a fabulous massage therapist). If it does go well then you just may see a photo of my wicked air and super smooth landing. What I will do this next time is visualize the scene first and 'see' myself landing this air perfectly in my mind. And I am not going to get on that board until I can do it with no doubt in my mind. I am a firm believer that everything begins in the mind. I went into this last attempt haphazard, with a lot of doubt and a bit of fear so it is no surprise it ended with a big splash. : )
Centre Updates
We've Come A Long Way Baby!
Here are some old pictures from Summer/Fall 2007 of my treatment room and the 'kitchen'.Sometimes we forget where we've been. I'm so excited planning new projects that I sometimes forget about what has already been accomplished. I had not looked at old photos in a long time and wanted to share. I forgot the long hours of stripping wallpaper, stripping paint, putting the gingerbread back together again, painting etc. It was a long tedious process and I learned a lot.I think this is a normal human condition to forget a certain amount of our past and look to the future. But today try and remember where you have come from, where you have been, and what you have accomplished so far. This will help inspire you to even larger dreams of your future.