As I’m planning my trip to Bali in the Fall it made me think of the book ‘Eat Pray Love’. So many people wanted to go to Bali after reading that book, or more recently, seeing the movie.
Bali has always been a place I was curious to go, but to be honest, it was not on my list of next adventures.
I sort of fell into this trip, intuitively and suddenly, much the same way I tend to fall in love.
And that got me thinking about the True Nature of Love, our Soul’s Journey through life, and the book ‘Eat, Pray, Love’
For those who have not seen the movie, it’s now available on Netflix.
For those who have;
Do you remember in the movie near the end when Liz doesn’t go with Fillipe on the boat because she feels she is losing her life balance by being in the relationship?
It’s that moment where she has a choice of ‘Going for it’, or Going back to the comfort of the life she knows. When she later visits Ketut (her spiritual advisor and friend) he explains to her that:
“Sometimes to lose balance for love is part of living a balanced life.”
After she listens and contemplates what he says, she has the realization that love takes courage and a huge leap of faith and she then does something we all have the ability to do (although many of us forget we can actually do this)
She changes her mind.
I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately.
I guess that’s why it’s called ‘Falling’ in Love. Falling is Notbalance. Falling is falling. Falling can hurt. But I do believe balance can come within love. I also believe love is a force that disrupts everything. It has to because it IS change, it IS evolution, it can destroy worlds, but is also the glue that holds everything together. It heals, it connects and it does create balance. But it also shakes things up, makes people uncomfortable, and teaches. Love is like the wind. It can’t be defined, controlled or balanced. It’s also like a plant where it needs certain things, or it dies. And I’m starting to understand that a person can be absolutely surrounded by love, but unless they are able to let it in, they just won’t feel it, or even know that it’s there.
The plan and simple truth is that We Are Constantly Surrounded by Love, Abundance, Peace, etc. Support it is Always there. The only thing that changes is our capacity and our willingness to receive it.
Falling in Love can be easy. It can be scary. It can come on fast and furious, and may not seem like there is even choice or free will involved. It can definitely be a force to be reckoned with.
Staying in love is different. Staying in Love requires contemplation, and careful thought. It is the steadiness that comes after a storm. It is about building something. It is about wanting to build something. It is about wanting to be willing to ‘do the work’, because relationships can be ‘work’ especially relationships that stretch you to grow beyond the boundaries of ‘who you think you are’. They are a continual co-creation with the ‘other’. Whether it’s building the trust and respect that is the necessary foundation for any long-term relationship, or simply building the desire to do so. Staying in Love requires patience compassion, selflessness, and courage as well. Lots of courage.
For me, my absolute favourite part of the whole movie was Liz’s realization at the end:
‘In the end, I’ve come to believe in something I call the ‘physics of the quest’, a force in nature governed by the laws of gravity. The rules of quest physics goes something like this: If you’re brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting and set out on a truth seeking journey either internally or externally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared most of all to face and forgive some of the most difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be witheld from you.’
Well said and I couldn’t agree more!
I’m really enjoying my quest!
If Bali resonates with you and you wish to learn all 3 levels of Akashic Record Training, email me for details.
Have you ever felt drained at the end of the day even though you did not really do anything to warrant such exhaustion?
Do you ever feel totally drained after hanging around certain people?
You were going along, having a perfectly wonderful day, and then you spend a few hours with someone or in a group and afterwards you feel like you want to slip into a zombie coma?
What the heck just happened?!
Some websites and books out there will tell you that you were attacked by an ‘energy vampire.’ That this ‘bad’ person stole your energy. Energy vampire was a term that was very big in the 80’s & 90’s..it came along with bad hair, huge amounts of hairspray and the need for protection, amulets, salt circles, crystals up the nose, fancy outfits, and whatever your favourite tool is to ward off so called ‘evil.’ Energy vampire was the perfect term to describe those people with ‘negative energy’ who made it feel like they were sucking the life right out of you. It was a catchy phrase. Catchy but dangerous.
It’s dangerous because it shifts the focus away from where it needs to be. As soon as you start labelling and blaming others for a problem that you ‘think’ they caused, you take the focus off the feeling that You are having (that feeling that is all about you) and you put the blame on them. In doing so, you take away any self responsibility about how you were (all of a sudden) feeling.
Not to mention doing that can be a bit scary too because-Wow! they must be pretty powerful to get through your supersonic energetic bubble and enchantments and powerful anti negativity jewellery to drain your energy dry like that. What are you going to do next time to prevent it? This is where people can spend a fortune from their fear as there are always those who will gladly take your money for more amulets, more potions, more spells, all the while feeding your fear for why you need those things (and need them) to save you from that other person. What you really need is to be saved- from yourself.
I know I’m poking fun, and I am likely going to take some heat from this post from the die-hard energy vampire haters, but I have totally been there. I have felt this drain before too. Many, many times. I’m empathic. For those who do not know what that means, it means that I Feel EVERYTHING all the time (emotions, physical ailments, moods) As cool as that may seem, it’s not a fun trip. Believe me! I can also tell you there is no magic product out there that is going to stop that drain. I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true. You may find things that help a little bit or things that trick your mind enough into believing they work-and the mind is very powerful and can help you there, but ultimately you are the only one who can stop it permanently. That’s because that energy drain you just had, in all honesty, its kind of your fault.
I know!!! That’s a horrible thing to say to someone! Especially when they are feeling so low and after they have had their life force energy drained and feel so energetically victimized.
My intention is not to be ‘mean‘ by saying that it is your fault. I wish it wasn’t so. Believe me I do. Life would be so much easier if we could just blame other people for everything. But it’s just not the case. In this case, you are at fault and it is simply because You allowed it.
No one pinned you down, or held you against your will to drain you of your energy. No one forced you to hang around that person, or give them your energy, or listen to their draining life story. Instead you were following a different law, a different set of rules-that unwritten agreement many of us have (and still follow) to pretend with that other person that everything is o.k. even when it is really not o.k. at all.
Why do we do this? Well it is easier, or seems to be easier to do this. No one enjoys conflict. No one wants to alienate people.
But unfortunately over time, this inauthenticity and self dishonesty drains you energetically. It becomes the hole in your bucket and it’s simply not worth it.
It is one of the absolute laws of the universe that nothing can interfere with your energy without your permission or free will. Nothing. Not a thing, no human, animal spirit, being, space alien, tweedle bugs, anything.
So what just happened to your energy then? How did it get drained?! How was it that allowed that you didn’t want it?!
If you go back through that situation in your mind-and do so with honesty-you will be able to pick out the exact moment where you began to feel the drain. The exact moment where you began to be inauthentic or dishonest with yourself or someone else.
This is actually how muscle testing works-the basic premise that when something is true or right for you the body’s (muscles ) show strength, and when something is wrong or untrue for you the body’s (muscles) show a weakness. The body is not the only thing affected in a situation where something is untrue or not right. In that case, the entire energy field is depleted. When people tell a lie their energy field totally collapses for a brief moment in time. My kids absolutely hate that I can always catch them in a lie this way.
So you were inauthentic. Big deal. We do it all the time. You are in a situation and don’t want to have ‘that conversation‘ or rock the boat, or stand out, or worse yet –hurt someone’s feelings, so you just adjust yourself to fit into the environment-while your ‘energy vampire’ friend, loved one, co worker, family member, stranger, begins to feed on you and drain you of all life force energy. You just sit and smile and nod and listen and fade away. You never once say what you want or truly feel. If you did then you would not feel drained afterwards.
Someone energetically ‘present’ and ‘aware’ in that situation, and someone refusing to compromise their authenticity, would leave that situation feeling just fine.
When we are dishonest with ourselves and others about who we are and how we feel we begin to drain energy. When this happens a lot, we become so depleted we begin to create illness and disease in the body.
When you are able to maintain who you are and your authenticity in every situation, you are not only doing yourself a service but you are helping others by mirroring back to them their ability to do so and you are essentially giving them permission to do the same for themselves. That is empowering.
Some of my favorite people on this earth are down right shocking, but they are Real. I Love children. I love their raw honesty. Children are born honest. They are real. They do not know any otherr way to be. They learn dishonesty from adults. Pets are honest too, and simple. Pets don’t lie. Our bodies are honest too. I love working with the body because the body tells it like it is- the body never lies. The human mind on the other hand….well you could be lost in a mind for days, weeks, heck even years! The mind is a wild maze! It is the mind that decides if we are going to be authentic or not..and it will have many scenarios at the ready-scenarios it likes to play out of things that have never even happened! Things that may never happen! The mind will convince you of why its better to stay quiet, to stay safe, to stay small and to just allow that person or situation to rip right into your etheric jugular and bleed you dry.
Why do we do this? Why do we change from the beautiful honesty of a small child ,to an insecure, inauthentic, and non self-aware adult?
Plain old survival.
As children many of us learn to people please to get rewarded. We learn when we are ‘good’ we receive love and affection or we do it to avoid getting yelled at or in trouble. We learn to be ‘good girls’ and ‘good boys’. We then grow up carrying those same patterns with us of selfless service, and silence for love, for acknowledgement, and for attention. Attention is actually how we give and receive Love. We learn that early on. The worst thing you can ever do to someone is withhold your love or attention. The opposite of Love is not Hate. It is indifference.
We learn to be chameleons to be what the other person wants us to be rather than learning to be comfortable in who we really are. We learn to Bend.
We look at magazines and tare aware of the media and what it tells us to be. We tell our children and young adults how to be and who to be to fit in. No one wants to be different. Not that different, to run the risk of not having friends. Most friendship s, and relationships require compromise. We learn to alter, we learn to Blend.
We learn to look outside of ourselves for our answers and to find reasons for our problems. We learn to Blame.
Often we do it in families where we may feel so incredibly different from our relatives we try and fit in by changing to fit the role of who they think we are rather than who we are truly are. We do it in relationships by becoming the person we think the other person wants us to be instead of being who we actually are.
Do you know that around the holidays is my busiest time as a holistic practitioner? When I began my practice years ago I found that incredibly odd because most of the services I offer are not covered by extended health care, and is an extra expense during the holidays, and can cut into the Christmas budget. Why do so many people see me then?
I believe it is because everyone is drained. They are spending time with their family -even those who would normally avoid doing so- and then while in those scenarios (to keep the peace) they pretend to be someone else. All of that pretending and not speaking your mind or honouring who you really are is totally exhausting! Most of us can barely walk thru the door to fall into bed after such a day.
So what can we do to protect our energy and keep it full and vibrant? Other than hermiting away and avoiding people forever or going the other extreme and alienating everyone, how can we avoid becoming drained?
I’m not suggesting you go out there all guns a blazing and blast everyone with your truth on some power trip just to be you. Relationships will be damaged and there will be fallout. These kinds of changes can take time. I’m simply asking for you to noticein your life when and where you feel drained. Just observe when and where it takes place and the context around it. Instead of blaming the other person for how you feel, honestly take responsibility for how you are feeling and look at where You were being inauthentic in that situation. By taking responsibility for allowing your energy to be drained, that new found awareness will allow you to make the necessary corrections so that it Never happens again.
Please know that despite what you may have heard, YOU are Always in control of your energy and your body. When you fully realize that, and embrace that 100%, and own it, then you will be able to end the cycle of being a victim in your own life, and you will truly see some incredible changes in your life.
By taking responsibility, you take ownership, you take your power back, and you take your energy back to you where it belongs.
Be yourself, not a crappy copy of someones else. If you have changed, let your family and friends know that. Allow them the chance to get to know the new you. You may be surprised..they may like your new self a heck of a lot better than the old one. Or maybe they are pretending to be someone else too. Once you take off your mask and let it all out, you are giving them permission to do the same and you can meet as two hearts, two minds, in honesty, in trust, in true authenticity.
Life is a lot like surfing. Sometimes you are in the flow of the most magnificent wave. Sometimes you miss that wave and other times you take a total beating. But one thing is for certain- When you fall down you have to get up. Recently I found myself caught off guard, and ended up taking a bit of a fall. Only this time while I was getting up, I was hit again and I fell down…Again…and instead of getting up, I got caught in the undertow.
Being under violent crazy water not knowing when you are going to pop up for air or even ‘if’ you will be able to catch your breath is an uncomfortable place to be. It is easy to go into fear in that crazy storm. It can be difficult but it is So Important To Stay Present when that happens and just simply focus on getting head above water.
I swam hard, I fought the current.
Thankfully I did pop up. I got a breath. Then as things settled I got a few more breaths and eventually I ended up washed up on shore. A bit surprised, relieved, and totally exhausted.
I would never have fallen if I had not decided to surf in the first place.
Do I regret surfing?
Not at all.
Am I going to run out there to hop on a big wave right away?
Not so much.
I think I might take a couple of days in the kiddie pool with a lemonade and recover first.
Am I talking about surfing?
Yes and no.
Am I talking about life?
You bet I am.
As a Holistic practitioner, I have a lot of tools at my disposal for health wellness and balance. Does that make my life immune to challenges? Not at all. In fact I often joke that my life challenges have gotten larger in comparison to my available tools-just to keep things fair and balanced in the universe. : )
Even the most present, aware and balanced surfer is going to fall. You cannot live your life afraid of the fall.
If you are going to ride those big waves, then you need to train hard and prepare for them so that if you fall while surfing them, you can survive it.
You also need to go into surfing them with no fear. Sure you may fall, you may even get hurt-but if you let the ‘what ifs’ and fears hold you back, that is not living.
So because I am a surfer and because I have ‘been there'(on the bad side of a wave) a few times over the years and I am still ‘here’, this is my best advice for what to do when you fall off your wave, and how to get back up and surfing again. : )
1. Take Action– Try at first to help yourself. Try to swim to get up for air. If you cannot, or the water is too rough then….
2. Just Wait. Continue to hold your breath and allow the water to move you up and out or to shore. Baby steps or one step at a time. Only look at the things directly in front of you that need immediate attention and let everything else fall away.
3. Surrender. Know that this is Bigger Than You. If your effort alone would change this you would have had results from step #1. If you are still being tossed around, recognize that you do not control these larger elements. Things are rearranging in your life. Allow them to.Chaos Always precedes Large change. The bigger the chaos, the large the change.
4. Be The Observer. Watch the scene with calm detachment as though it was a movie you were watching-instead of feeling yourself in the scene. By taking that step back to observer perspective, you will see valuable and helpful things you may have missed while ‘in it’.
5. Ask For Help. This may mean asking someone for advice, getting more information, or researching something more. It could be that you need actual physical help, or healing. This also includes asking spirit for help and prayer.
6. Be Open To Receive the help you asked for. Take that advice. Listen. Allow yourself to receive that love and healing you asked for. Embrace those answered prayers.
7. Build yourself up again. Recover. Be kind and gentle. Learn from your ‘mistakes’ and then get back out there and get back on your wave. After all, you are a surfer!
I was a bit later than I wanted getting this post up and out there. Thankfully things have settled for me and I’m back on my board but still felt it was important to share this because I know I am not the only ‘life surfer’ out there, and I definately know I am not the only one who has fallen and had to get up again. This is for all of the courageous and fearless surfers trying to live their dreams and not giving up, not even when they fall or get knocked down every so often.
As Dory in finding Nemo sings…”just keep on swimming, swimming, swimming…”