I have so many unfinished blog posts and have no had time to write! Lots of things have happened. Some of them amazing and wonderful and I want to share them with all of you-I really do-but the timing is not quite right. I may need to take a couple of days off just to catch up on the writing-but no time right now. Spring has sprung and things are speeding up!
Recently my sister sent this to me (see below) and I thought it was beautiful & a good reminder about courage and hope and so thought I would share it here until I get back to blogging on a regular basis. : )
‘Be the tree’ was the message I received a few weeks ago from spirit while receiving Reiki. I had been asking for guidance for some time, only until that moment I had not been in a clear space to receive it.
You see I was in pretty rough shape. For a healer, we do actually learn early the importance of self healing in order to stay balanced and well so that we can better help others. But also, as a healer, many of us tend to want to take care of others first. Somehow over the holidays (from doing too much) I came down with a virus. By new years I was getting back on track only to end up with a raging kidney infection. After a foray to emergency and drugs I was back home and really not happy about any of it. I had things to do and places to be and no one else could do those things for me. It was stressful to not be able to stay on top of my insane to-do list.
So there I was on the table, receiving a healing, not for fun, or as a tune up, but because I really needed it badly. I had fallen completely off my groove, out of my flow, off my centre, out of alignment, was ungrounded, my cheese had partially slid right off the cracker…. You get my drift. I also have friends who insisted on coming over, despite my crankiness, and comments of ‘I’m o.k. I just really want to be alone right now.’ But they decided on a reiki intervention instead. Thank god for them.
Humbled and Grateful is the way I felt after these dear friends and amazing healers gathered to help me out. I was at the end of my rope, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I was coming off a rather challenging 7 months and felt like I kept getting knocked down right after I would pick myself up. I was not in alignment. I knew that the law of attraction was at work in my life 100% and until I sorted myself out I would just keep re-creating the same disasters. You would think that by knowing this that would be enough to bring myself into some semblance of balance but because I was pretty emotionally attached to all of it, I was not receiving any clarity.
So as I was on the reiki table, I was intuitively asking my guides and angels and any spiritual being with compassion out there in the universe to come and help me out with some answers. I wasn’t even asking for them to take the drama away. I was just asking. ‘What should I do?!’ I was beginning to think all of the red tape and delays and downright ridiculous obstacles were the universe’s way of subtly telling me to give up on everything. So as I lay there waiting for the lightning of divine insight to strike, I heard very loudly and very clearly a female voice say “Be the Tree.”
It was clear. It was simple and that was it. At first to be honest I thought ‘Is that it?!’ After months of total chaos I wanted to shout to the universe ‘That’s all you’ve got?!’ (but after the time I had experienced recently I did not think it was wise to provoke or ‘throw down’ with the universe) so I thought better of it and instead I opened myself up to truth of those words and contemplated.
Once I (finally) relaxed and opened myself up, the advice of ‘Be The Tree’ it made complete sense.
My life had been chaotic and scattered because I had been chaotic and scattered.
‘Be the Tree’ meant I had to be like a tree. Literally! I needed to find my still centre, find the ground, and sink my roots deep into the earth. I needed to claim that space, to own it, to become strong centred and grounded again so that life’s storms would not knock me over. The crazy thing was I had not even realized how un-rooted I had become. Once I had that aha moment, the voice went on to talk about the ice storm we had a few weeks ago that affected so many people. In my neighbourhood especially, it had been heartbreaking to drive up and down the street and see tree branches laid out ready for pickup, to see the devastation and all of the trees lost from that storm. The standing people, the silent watchers, the beautiful space holders, cut down so dramatically.
The voice explained that to ‘Be the Tree’ does not mean there will not be storms, that there will never be loss or devastation. In fact it told me that life is loss and devastation and to think that we can get through it without experiencing that is ignorant. ‘Be the Tree’ means to Believe in yourself enough to anchor yourself deeply into the earth, to be so connected that if you lost a branch or two in a storm you are still the tree, life goes on. To not give up. To recover, to rebuild, to begin again.
These are all acts of courage. It takes courage to hold your ground, to stand up for what you believe in, that it is just and true. It takes courage to rise up after falling, and more still to stand up again after being knocked down.
Now was the time (in my darkest hour) where I needed to stand up and begin using All that I had learned the last few years. That information was not just for me to share with others, but for me to actually use, and this time I Needed to use it. I needed to, or I wouldn’t survive the storm.
That all sounds very dark. But it was dark, and I had been in a dark place. I had been questioning my intuition, my faith, my relationships, and my life path. Many years ago, when I chose a life of service, I made that choice and promise and take it very seriously. As a result, I sometimes feel the responsibility that comes with that choice means my life is not always entirely my own. It is that way once you mother children as well. It is a joy but also can be a huge sense of responsibility that can weigh on a person. I have a vision and a promise to keep to myself and to others but it would be nice if it does not destroy me in the process. I have realized lately,(that how things are arranged and re-arranged out there in the universe, a.k.a. quantum field) are not for me to decide. I am not in control of the process. Sometimes only after everything has been destroyed, can we see what truly needs to remain, and what truly needs to be rebuilt. So I decided to re-surrender and allow the universe to reshape my world. I was holding fast to the one thing I could, the one thing I still had faith in, and was is the dream I had many years ago, a dream of creation, and I decided to hold fast to that and trust that this dream would one day become reality. It was almost here, and I knew that to give up in the final hour would not only be counterproductive but it would be tragedy.
Today in the midst of more chaos(I could write a book on my last week alone!) I asked for a sign from the universe if I was to keep it going or let it all go. I got my sign, and 5 more immediately afterwards. So I took that as a YES! So I decided to pick myself back up and ‘Be the Tree’. I am going to re-root and hang on and hope we won’t have any more storms. Or at least not until I heal from the last one.
I’m a healer, a teacher, an intuitive, a mother, and a friend, and you know what? I’m still learning. As we all are. I always preach to have compassion for others, but this most recent experience has shown me that I need to still work on cultivating some compassion towards myself. I hold myself to some pretty high standards, and when I fall short of them I am pretty hard on myself.
I had a student recently ask me if intuitive types have more challenging lives than the average person who is just out there living life. I don’t think so, but it seems to me that the people who question things, who really wants to understand things or push the envelope to excel at something, do tend to experience more adversity. Why is that?
Well I believe that when you want to understand things, when you ask for the truth, when you are going for it, and want to know, the universe will show you all that is is you wish to understand. But in order to understand something, to truly make it your own, we need to Experience it. And the only way to do that is to have that idea manifest in your outer universe, so that you can interact with the scene in your daily life to further understand the idea or concept or situation. Once we have experienced something, we can combine that with our intellectual understanding of it, and turn that into true wisdom. And wisdom does not always come easily. Wisdom sometimes comes faster along the path of adversity. Do I wish I could just live my life and not ever ask ‘why?’, and be content to live my days out being content and not wanting to understand the true nature of reality and my place in it? Absolutely. But I’m not wired that way. I am unfortunately (fortunately?) an explorer, and inventor, a pioneer. And pioneers never have it easy! The people who come after (once the trail has been blazed) do.
In the bible (yes I have read it!) it is suggested that we rejoice in our sufferings, because it produces perseverance and perseverance produces character. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete in character, not lacking anything.”
So there you have it. I have been suffering all along, so that I can build a better character. I may not have been ‘joyful’ as it happened but I’m o.k. with that. There are many things I do well, but I also have many shortcomings. I’m stubborn. I don’t ask for help easily. I don’t receive love as well as I give it. And I get mad at myself when I become sick or unwell because ‘ain’t nobody got time for that!’ and I think I should know better! But I am learning to love myself despite my shortcomings, and to forgive myself for my mistakes I’m allowing myself to take the time I need to heal myself. I’m doing this so that I can be a better person, and a stronger Tree so that I am able to better love and support someone else when they need it, just as my dear friends did for me.
If you feel you are being tossed around by the universe, first of all know that you are not alone in your suffering. We all experience this from time to time unfortunately. It is just part of being human. Secondly please do not hermit away and don’t do what I did. Instead put your roots down deep into the earth, breathe, let your friends and family help you, be easy on yourself and Be That Great Tree and have faith as you wait for the storm to pass.